Let me start off by saying I do not feel any guilt about sending my kids to daycare. I am a much better mommy for working, and they are more enriched then I could make them if I stayed at home (what with all the screaming, crying and tantrums - oh and they'd probably get upset too).
I also don't read "mommy war" or other "how she does it - type books". But this one was suggested by a good friend - who happens to be a sahm. The book is called "Perfect Madness" by Judith Warner. I am only about 1/3 of the way through it - but it has made me think. It makes me want to live in France. In the book the author talks about living there, and the completely different attitude about adult lives and parenting lives. From her description it seems as though the French culture emphasizes parents still leading adult lives while having children. Compared to the sort of frantic - must be doing something to enrich my kids lives every spare moment we have going on in the US today. People there certainly do things with their kids but they also do things without them - go out to dinner, read books, etc. They seem much less kid-focused. And not guilty at all about it. In fact, the author writes that the French would be perplexed by someone who was guilty about it. Very interesting, at least so far. Will probably provide bigger picture review when I am done.